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Dr battery spy agent5/20/2023 What I wouldn't do for a rocket powered snow-mobile right now. I had defeated the automated ape by driving a rocket powered snow-mobile off a steep ramp and used the runners to knock the large glowing battery off its back, effectively deactivating it and disarming its arsenal of banana-shaped grenades. Once, as a younger secret agent, I had fought a cybernetic gorilla sent by a ring of high-tech mobsters to rob the federal reserve. My nephew was always a worthless little brat. The handle shuddered a few times, spat out a pathetic cloud of smoke and the whole top part of the umbrella became limp and sagged to the ground. For a third time, I pressed the button on my secret umbrella-jet that my nephew supposedly fixed. When I tried to spring up and chase it as I used to be able to do, I realized that my hip had been thrown out and the best I could do was to pull myself up and limp after it. It propelled itself into the air again, hurling its massive bulk towards the Oval Office. Gears along the robotic boot's side spun menacingly, and thin blue tongues of electricity leapt from one sinister nanoid to the next, powering the infernal footwear. The crowds running from the White House screamed. I dove ungracefully to one side and the boot slammed into the ground behind me. Then time regains its senses, and there you still are, about to be shoed. You find yourself entranced by the undulating ridges on the vast metallic sole above your head. There is a certain clarity that comes when a giant flying robotic boot is about to hit earth and crush you. Zarkanonovako arrives with news that he has sent a giant robotic boot of his own to help out with the destruction: Click here to read it. This poorly thought-out plan, involving a broken computer and a videotape threatening the president with a giant robotic boot that does not exist, falls apart when the notorious Russian midget Dr. Petrubia, now best friends with our hero, reveals his plan to get both of them back in the limelight. Petrubia and finds him not as threatening as he used to be: Click here to read it.Ģ. Our ex-secret agent hero confronts his old nemesis Dr. Now, it needs to take action.Previously on "The Secret Agent is Retired and Bored":ġ. This time, though, Apple may have stepped too far over the line. This whole debacle, unfortunately, is entirely in character for Apple, which prides itself on making strong design choices that sometimes take choice away from the user - like the still-frustrating decision to remove the headphone jack. And even if they do decide to upgrade to a new iPhone, at least it would be a more informed purchase. But at least this way customers have some modicum of control. Ultimately, the result is the same: a lousier iPhone experience. For bonus points, iOS could even send a push alert when the battery has gotten to the point where enabling that setting is urgent. Let users choose whether they want to slow down their phone to preserve reliability. If Apple really wants to set this right, it has a pretty easy solution available: Make it an option in the settings. It also took the choice away from users and made loyal customers feel as if they were being paranoid. In so doing, not only did it keep a secret from customers, who now have plenty of reason to mistrust Apple about anything ever again. Oh, and you can't replace an iPhone battery yourself. Worse yet, the decision was made in secret, with no official word from Apple that this "feature" even existed. What matters is that Apple made the decision on behalf of users to enable this setting. There are good reasons for Apple to have done this, not least that some older batteries cause iPhones to randomly shut down or restart when the phone is running at peak performance. This "power management" feature first came to iPhones in 2016, Apple says. On Wednesday, Apple acknowledged that there's a large element of truth to a modern urban legend: The iOS operating system throttles performance on some iPhones and iPads that have older batteries. ![]() But if Apple is serious that there's a good technical reason for this, it should give users the option.By throttling performance, iOS increases performance. Apple says it's for a good technical reason, which is that as iPhone batteries naturally degrade over time, high power drains can cause the phone to restart.Apple has confirmed a longtime conspiracy theory: Some older iPhones have their performance downgraded automatically by iOS.Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders.
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